WWJD?

Just got this emailed to me:

Journal Entry: What Jesus Wouldn't Do......
Monday, October 24, 2005
What Jesus wouldn’t do….
Here are a few things I know Jesus wouldn’t do that I think we need to really hear right now.
1- The little children come running to Jesus and He says, “Peter, keep those kids at a safe distance from me because they could bring a law suit upon us and for Pete’s sake don’t hug them! They could see that is improper! Do you want to cause a scandal”?

2- A little girl who’s father just died comes running to Peter for comfort and Jesus says to Peter, “make sure you keep a foot of space between you if she needs a hug…actually just give her a handshake. We don’t want people getting the wrong idea now do we?”

3. Peter comes to Jesus and says, "Lord these children are beautiful. They have such innocence about them. It is so refreshing to see.” The Lord answers, “Ah yes! It is truly beautiful. There is nothing like childlike innocence. Now get them into sex ed. classes and immediately start warning them about how there are bad people who may want to molest them.” Peter replies, “But Lord shouldn’t we leave that to the parents to determine when their child is ready to hear such things?” Jesus says, “Listen Peter, if it’s good enough for the public school system it’s good enough for us! The last thing we need is another lawsuit!”

4. The Pharisees come to question Jesus and He says to his apostles, “Listen, these guys get upset easily, let's water down our message so as not to cause any conflict. Some of these guys put a ton of money into the collection basket so we don’t want to rock the boat. If they ask tough questions or do scandalous things just tell them something like “we are all loved by God” this makes them happy and keeps us safe. Whatever you do DON’T mention sin or hell!”

5. Peter comes to Jesus asking him what they should do about some of the people in the church who are elected officials who are scandalizing the church. Jesus answers “Peter, don’t be crazy! You know we can’t talk about political things! We could lose our 501c3 non profit status! Just tell them we are all loved by God and that should make everyone happy.”

6. Peter comes running frantically to Jesus and says, “My Lord! There are money changers defiling the temple what should we do?!” Jesus answers, “Take a poll and see what the people think, If they are ok with it then see if we can hit any of the money changers up for a donation. If the people are upset just tell everyone that “we are all loved by God”. Then we will just wait until it all blows over”.

7. The apostles come running to Jesus and say, "My Lord, the catholic colleges are teaching horrible things that are leading many away from the true faith!” Jesus replies, “I know, it really is a bummer I wish I could do something about it …oh well, let me know if any of the graduates from the schools would like to work in our diocese because we are in desperate need of help. They may be teaching heresy but let’s just hope they will tone it down a bit. And remember … we are all loved by God! Have a nice day!

8. Peter comes to Jesus, “My Lord, homosexual men have entered the priesthood and have been sexually abusing young men in the church! What should we do”? Jesus answers, “Listen, if we say the problem is homosexuality the media will rip us apart. Let’s call it pedophilia and that will save us from the media attack. Peter replies, “But Lord, the problem is homosexuality! The vast majority of the abuses were on teenage boys!” Jesus answers, “Again I tell you, unless you submit to the pressures of the media you will have no peace in you! So I command you, go out into the world two by two and submit!”

Again I say….these are things that Jesus wouldn’t do. We can learn a lot from Jesus…..
TO BE CONTINUED…..

This was all written by Sean Forrest, check out his website here
Yours in Christ,
Thursday